When We Fail to Be Moral

AARON HASS, Ph.D.

Emotions can get in the way of doing what' right. There is a sardonic joke about a wealthy shopkeeper who is on his way home before the Sabbath arrives. Every week, he takes the same route, passes a blind beggar on a corner, and drops a few coins in the unfortunate's tin cup, This afternoon, however, he walks past the beggar without making any offering.

The beggar calls to him."Sir, you forgot to drop something in my cup,"

"I'm sorry. It was a bad week in the business," answers the shopkeeper.

 "So, because you had a bad week, I should suffer?"

I am firmly convinced that we would rather be generous, and forgiving, and compassionate, than stingy, selfish, begrudging, and insensitive. But we have all suffered deep disappointments, are en- slaved by our insecurities. We cheat when we feel weak or to prove our power and invincibility (which us merely a reflection of our sense of deep-seated impotence).

We act insensitively when we harbor the most self-doubt. When we are preoccupied with our self and our perceived shortcoming, we are precluded from  accurately  perceiving and responding to the needs of others. Conversely, when we are  happy and, as a result, not as self-absorbed, we are more generous with our empathy and assistance.

I read a recent article about the richest people in America (no one under three hundred millions was listed) and how many of them fail to make any charitable contributions. My guess is these are individuals who, despite their wealth, still retain a fundamental sense of deprivation. When I fell deprived, I lose touch with any sentiment of obligation beyond myself. I lose my ability to care about you. And, clearly , it is my perception of my portion in life, and not any objective measurement of, it that well determine my behavior . Re-gardless of my ability to reason morally, to know what's right , if I feel unfulfilled and frustrated, I won't act from my higher, giving self.

            So often, when we are unhappy, we have this amorphous feeling in our gut that the world has done us wrong, that life has dealt us a bad hand. When I feel this way, I righteously reject any claim coming from the outside. Not only do I owe others nothing, but I permit myself to act indecently to you because I feel as though life has acted indecently to me.